So the battle is half done
Here I am, done with the big presentation to an audience of 16.
2 hours and 30 slides.
And its done. Just like that.
Well, not that its all over right now, there is still lots to do, like ensuring all the go-lives of the little projects take place and ensuring all the necessary tools and schedules are available, all the administrative blah blah has to be in tick-tocking shape before I go. And oh yes, write a document for to sum up all recommendations by the audience at our big presentation.
But yeah, in the existential sense, its over.
At least the accountable part is over. I still have zilch on my 6,500 word report for the school but I have a month to pop that out. And for Client 2, I have to work this weekend, and they like how the work is going on so far – we have tested our amazing framework for measuring social impact in the very projects that we are doing here and all there is left is putting this concept into a beautiful consulting paper.
And yet, I feel my energy dropping as we reach the end. Which is strange. This is the validation, the apex, the cream – where the fruits of our labours get laid out and zoomed out and peeked in with help from our friends who put together this nifty little thing called microsoft powerpoint. I am supposed to be exuberant and basking in the afterwaves of congratulations from the Board and thumbs up from our mentor and our fellowship directors. Yes, we did get the heartfelt thanks and the excellent job done and I even have it handwritten on my personal feedback form.
Instead, I feel vague, disillusioned and slightly confused. I ask myself if I have really made a difference. I was interviewed today (yes, for the new Emzingo video – look out for it) and I said that it was an interesting experience for us because we had an opportunity to actually execute something. Our deliverable was tangible. We were fortunate enough to have followed 2 rounds of fellows and saw our work with the organisation evolved from a strategic plan – a popular MBA concept and vernacular into actually doing the groundwork of writing grant applications and formulating these workplace policies. And now at the end of it all, I ask myself if that was the right thing to do. You know, to provide the muscle for the execution of it all. I can’t quite help but wonder if there could have been more that could be done or if we could have facilitated the entire process much better.
Anyway, its back to reality here. We still have a bit of time left. Its not that bleak as I probably made it out to be. We still have these days to ensure whatever is implementable is put in place and whichever percentage of the work that lives on after we go – we better well make sure that its good.
